My life is made up of many arrows being shot at many targets – work, relationships, business, family, creativity, exercise, house keeping, trying to relax and such. Every day I look down the list of things to do and shoot the arrows one at a time and STRIKE one more target has been bullseyed (yes, I just made up a word). Things go along as normal with my mind on the list and the goal to get things marked off as efficiently as possible. Then slowly or sometimes quickly things begin to change – all the arrows or my thoughts seem to be focused on one thing. Sometimes the change is welcome and exciting, other times it’s scary and nerve racking, and then there are those times that I feel a mixture – nervous excitement.
As of late my thoughts have been turning their aim to one thing – my creativity and pushing myself. I don’t ever want to get into a routine of the way I shoot a session or a wedding. Yes, there are some go to poses and spots that I just love, but I ultimately want to be myself, be creative, and push the boundaries. I’ve been longing for the days of high school and college drawing, painting, pottery, and photography classes where I did art because it was an outlet to express myself. Making myself logoff other blogs, put down the books full of yummy photographs, stop “pinning” other people’s gorgeous photos, and make myself shoot what and how I see is scary. I’ve often said that I believe it is sometimes hard for artists to show their work because it’s like a window into themselves (I would say their soul but that sounds a bit too deep). I feel like when someone looks at my art they aren’t just judging the work they’re judging me because that piece came from within, the way I see, the way I feel. I have to remind myself that God made me for a reason and that He put His creative eye in me. He made me to give a piece of myself to make the world more beautiful. Not everyone will see my work and go AW!!, but some just might and be moved by the way I see this beautiful green and blue ball. So why should I hide behind what everyone else is doing when I should be making my own mark on the world? I know I only find joy in being who I was made to be.
Along with these thoughts I’ve been pondering over some ideas on how to bring that creativity back and allow myself to let lose. One thought was that I’d love to begin shooting film. I really don’t know where to begin on the “antiquated” film thing, but it just so happened that as I scanned my Facebook wall a post by Jill Thomas Photography popped out at me. She was talking about a book for digital photographers who want to learn film. Can we say CONFIRMATION! I’m getting it for sure and I’ve already picked up my film camera. I so cannot wait to take an afternoon to shoot my first roll of film. I’m most excited about the thing greatest I hated about film…the not knowing what you’re getting. The mystery is intriguing me and I’ve got to get to it. I’m so ready to get my creative juices flowing again and allow myself to be me…to express myself through my art.
Then while my mind was focused on the bullseye of creativity I got an email from a magazine asking if I’d be interested in doing their holiday shoot for them. Hello opportunity to be creative! I still can’t believe how amazed I get when my thoughts and God’s thoughts begin to align and I see Him moving in my life. This last week has just been a huge reminder that I’m on the right track, I’m loved by a beautiful creator who made me perfect in His eyes, and the sky is the limit.
So I write all of this to say, I’m super excited about what is happening in my life and I can’t wait to share with you the things to come. Always remember to be yourself, push yourself to realize the dreams you’ve dreamed, and know that you’re loved by a beautiful Creator.
Because every post is better with a picture…here’s one of me at work. Thanks to Steph Owens for second shooting and taking this photo.